Today we are talking to the telecommunications engineer Marta Sevillano. Marta has a master's degree in video game development and has worked as a software tester (Software testers). She has also been a hardware design engineer and currently works as a software development engineer for semiconductors applied to the automotive sector.
Marta is a feminist who defends gender self-determination and works to improve the living conditions of trans people, expanding the meaning and possibilities of living in diverse ways, without having to fit into the molds pre-established by the patriarchy, and claiming as sovereign political subjects a whole set of bodies that until now have been placed in a subordinate position.
In the words of the philosopher, writer and Spanish art curator Paul B. Valued, known for his contributions to queer theory, to gender studies and trans studies, l’any 2019 delivered the lecture: “I am the monster that speaks to you. Report for an academy of psychoanalysts”. In this presentation before 3.500 psychoanalysts gathered at the International Conference of the Freudian Cause School, to Paris, raised the question of whether psychoanalysis should continue clinging to outdated models or open up to the new approaches of sexual political radicalism. His speech began like this:
"Honorable gentlemen and ladies of the School of the Freudian Cause, dear psychoanalysts. And I don't know if it's worth saying too “honorable” to all those people who are neither ladies nor gentlemen, because I do not believe that among you there is any person who has officially and publicly renounced sexual difference, that she has been accepted as a full-fledged psychoanalyst and that she has been able to successfully go through the process that you call “it passes”, which gives them the right to analyze others. If such a person existed among you, if this non-binary trans psychoanalyst had been admitted as an expert and was here today, my greeting to this honorable mutant would be even warmer. I am honored to be asked to present to the academy a report on my life as a trans man. I don't know if I can please you by providing data that you, academic ladies and gentlemen, no first cousin but, because, just like jo, are inserted in a regime dominated by sexual difference and, therefore, almost everything I can explain to you you will have experienced yourself, from one side or the other of the gender border. maybe, but, you think of yourselves as natural men or women, and this assumption has prevented them from observing, with a healthy distance, the device in which they are immersed. They will forgive me if, in the story I am about to share with you, I do not take for granted the existence of these supposed natures of masculinity and femininity. They don't have to give up their beliefs—because, it's about beliefs— to listen to me. Listen to me first and then come back, if they want, in its natural life… o, better said, naturalized."
Let's start the Marta Sevillano interview, talking about your past, of your autobiography, of your references and also of the obstacles you have encountered along your journey.
Autobiography
My name is Marta Sevillano and I am a trans woman. I have been working in the technology sector for over twenty years, I continue here. I was born in Seville at the end of the seventies and I started programming very young because I was passionate about it. I got one of those computers from 8 bits, and ZX Spectrum, and I started programming on it. Then I continued studying until I graduated in Telecommunications at the University of Seville.
I joined the world of work at the beginning of the years 2000 and I started working in Madrid. A party, that decision also had to do with the need to leave Seville, of moving away from my immediate surroundings to be able to explore who I really was and understand what was happening to me.
I lived in Madrid for about six years. During that stage I met my partner and, through her, I also met many people far more diverse than those in my previous circle. Some of them have become some of my best friendships. After, because my partner lived in Barcelona, I came this way.
I knew I was trans from a very young age. I must have been about ten years old when I was able to put a name to that feeling. I knew that I did not fit at all into the model of masculinity that was expected of me. They always called me "marieta". I had been told repeatedly that I needed "a couple of wafers" and other similar comments. He never fit in with the other kids at school. Computers ended up becoming my refuge.
I kept burying all that because I saw how society perceived trans people, especially trans women. I was very afraid. I thought my future would inevitably be tied to poverty and rejection. But there came a time when, I lived in Barcelona, all this kept building up inside me until I couldn't take it anymore. I came out of the closet.
It was a complicated time with my partner. In general, friendships and people at work accepted it well, although some people didn't take it so well. There were friendships that simply disappeared from my life. my partner, instead, he understood it very well and, nowadays, continue my cost.
I started my transition over ten years ago. It was a necessity: I needed to find myself and be able to be who I really was. In this sense I think I have been quite lucky. I have not ended up living that situation of social exclusion or poverty that I feared so much. I have been fortunate to have good friendships, with the support of my partner and also my family.
My references?
I must say that I have read little. I guess I also focused a lot on technology, in the machines, more than in people. I have read some stuff from Judith Butler i, especially, I am very interested in his idea of gender as something performative; that is to say, that gender is what we do. I also share the idea that being a trans person is, in a way, a performative reality: you are trans because you decide to live and act according to who you are. This view fits very well with my own experience and the way I have experienced my transition.
I also really like an essayist called Julia Serano, who writes about trans realities. One of the things it does is dismantle many of the myths that are still circulating, even in certain scientific fields, according to which trans people have some mental problem or some kind of disorder. When I read your texts, they often give me a lot of peace of mind.
Another person I consider a reference, both because of the way she explains things and because I'm lucky to have her as my friend, and Alana Portero. I highly recommend his novel The bad habit, because it portrays very close trans experiences, both in space and time, which I myself lived in Madrid. Many of the places in it are familiar to me and so are many of the situations it describes. It is a very close look because it speaks from the experience of a working-class person who is discovering herself.
I don't know if we can call this references, but probably yes. In my personal environment I have many friends who have also taught me a lot. For example, I have a friend who has worked doing cleaning jobs at homes and she has told me a lot about this type of work and about the precariousness that often accompanies it. He is an extraordinary person who, in addition, has managed to enter the technology sector by his own means.
I also have other friends who have helped me understand how jobs traditionally considered feminine tend to be less socially valued and less well paid. curiously, when these same sectors are masculinized, as happened with technology, they suddenly gain prestige. In this sense I consider myself very lucky.
And I would also say that my mother is one of my biggest references. If I have started to question so many things it is, in good part, thanks to her. He is a very critical person, with whom I have always been able to talk at length.
The obstacles I have encountered
The truth is, I feel like I've lived two lives. During the first stage, the main obstacles came from the fact that I did not fit into the male roles that society expected of me. She wasn't manly enough by the established standards. I never felt comfortable participating in those gym conversations or the typical male chats, when they made nasty comments about women. I don't understand how anyone can feel comfortable talking like that. I also didn't like many of the things that are stereotypically associated with masculinity, such as football or certain behavioral patterns.
You have to think that I grew up in the eighties, when everything was much more rigid. Men had to be one way and women another. The comments I heard around me about anyone different were of the type: "and homosexual", "is it like this or like that"… Those whispers made it very clear to you that what you were was not acceptable. I, therefore, you were hiding it. As I began the transition, other obstacles appeared.
ten years ago, if you wanted to transition, the system imposed a series of requirements on you: hormone, medical reports and other conditions. I had no problem with hormones, but I would have liked this whole process to have been much simpler. For example, the possibility of saving sperm to be able to have children in the future was an option I had to rule out. At that time, to be legally recognized as a trans person, the system demanded, in fact, the sterilization. This is a very important topic.
I also had some tensions with my family. They told me things like: "You will be alone. No one will love you." with time, but, they ended up understanding it. There were friendships that disappeared and others that told me directly that what I was doing was wrong. Losing people you considered friends is not pleasant at all.
curiously, I also experienced the opposite situation. People who used to make transphobic comments or make fun of trans women, then they perfectly understood my reality and today they are part of my best friends.
Regarding work, overall i didn't have any big problems. Yes, there was some confusion in the company. They didn't quite know how to handle the situation. For example, they asked me which bathroom I had to go to. It was an environment where transphobic and homophobic comments were often made. Someone even went so far as to tell me: "Don't get angry, dona…». I don't know if they continued to make those comments behind my back or if they actually learned something. I like to think so.
I also had the feeling that, at times, I have been somewhat relegated to the background. I've been told that maybe I didn't handle stress well enough or that I wasn't ready to take on certain responsibilities. i believe, honestly, which is quite the opposite.
Transitioning has made me a better professional. It has allowed me to work with more concentration, with more mental health and with much more motivation. on the street, of so much, I have also received comments on my appearance. I remember one time a man changed sidewalks only to come toward me while staring at me. Or very everyday situations, like when someone explains to me how a car works… after more than ten years of driving. These things happen too.
Marta Sevillano, telecommunications engineer, shows us how he has had to overcome numerous obstacles both in the technological world and in everyday life, confronting the guardians of patriarchy and defending her rights as a trans woman in the 21st century when she talks about cultural diversity, the privileges, technology, human rights and the future.
Marta, cultural diversity influences your present, in today's life? I, from a feminist perspective, Have you considered what your privileges are??
It is a fundamental question. I think it's absolutely essential. At work, if you don't have a diverse team, we all end up having blind spots. We all have areas of knowledge that we don't know and we all carry biases, perceptions that do not necessarily correspond to reality, simply because our view is always subjective.
When a privileged group - with more power or more influence - dominates a space, many issues simply cease to exist. Nobody talks about them because nobody sees them. In technology, for example, we still have a very Eurocentric view, very white, very masculine and very cisgender. Too often we forget people with disabilities or many other groups. It is a reality that we must change. Not just for a matter of justice or respect for all people, but because we develop products and services. If we don't take into account the whole society, these products may cease to be useful or, even, become dangerous.
I think, for example, in those videos that sometimes circulate on the networks of an automatic faucet that does not detect the hands of dark-skinned people because no one tried it before. It may seem like an anecdote, but now imagine autonomous cars. If your systems are not able to correctly detect a black person, we are talking about a real risk to his life. This is just one of the many examples that exist.
But diversity is also important outside of technology. Even today there are companies that do not hire people because they are forty-five years old, or because they consider that a woman will perform less than a man because she can get pregnant. Cultural diversity makes us richer as a society.
The privileges
I try to check my privileges often. I am aware that, in many ways, I have been a privileged person. I was able to study a university course, I was able to start my transition with some financial stability and had savings. actually, my problems have not come so much from other factors as from the fact that I have not been perceived as a man “valid”, according to traditional models of masculinity. The insults I received as a child - "marieta", threats of school bullying, that idea that masculinity is imposed by blows—are a sign that this model also ends up harming the men themselves.
In general, but, i was lucky. I've had good jobs, I have been able to build a professional career, study, my family accepts me and my partner continues to be by my side. I don't suffer from racism and, for my age, nor do I experience situations of verbal harassment on the street. But there is one very important aspect: the relationship with the health system.
When I started the transition I had to go through a very strict diagnosis and control process. Medical protocols decide the hormonal guidelines and, many times, these guidelines are minimal. I have read and heard many trans women explain that estrogen doses tend to be the minimum necessary, leaving many people in a situation very similar to early menopause. I understand that there are medical criteria, but the feeling is that the system could provide much better care.
The future of rights
Another issue I think about a lot is that today I can no longer travel to many countries where I could have gone without problems before. I can't travel in peace to Russia, nor to several countries in Africa or Eastern Europe. I, more and more, nor in the United States. There are US states where recently passed laws make life for trans people much more complicated. The laws on public toilets or the so-called laws of “decency” they end up being, in many cases, instruments used against LGBTIQ+ people.
Create safe spaces
From my small sphere of influence I try to create safe spaces. Spaces for women, for LGTBIQ+ people, for racialized people. I try to make anyone feel welcome, safe and with the necessary confidence to grow. I also like to accompany women and trans people who want to start a career in technology. When they ask me for technical help or professional guidance, I try to explain things in a didactic way, share my experience and show that it is possible to make your way. For my part, I keep trying to learn. I should read even more, train me more, because we always have a lot to learn.
Rights are not irreversible
We got many rights thanks to the struggle. And we have to keep fighting. We can never forget it. The same rights that have been conquered in the streets, thanks to social mobilization and political pressure, they can also be lost.
In the United States, for example, federal protection of the right to abortion has recently been revoked and numerous anti-trans and anti-LGTBIQ+ laws are being passed, hindering or preventing transition processes. It is even going so far as to criminalize families who accompany their trans sons and daughters so that they can understand who they are. We cannot look away. Many people end up living on the streets because their families reject them. Support networks are needed so that no one has to be left helpless simply for being who they are. above all, I think we must continue to defend personal autonomy. For me, both the right to abortion and the right to transition are part of the same idea: our bodies belong to us. I, accordingly, the decisions about our bodies belong to us too.
the salt of life
For me, the salt of life they are the people who weave networks and try to make the world a little better place. They are the people who welcome. Those who accept. The ones that help. The ones that make others feel safe.
THE SALT OF LIFE, Contemporary feminism in the first person.
Per ANGELS BRONSOMS
